Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Fade to White

Windsor Fountains Condo
Culver City, CA
November 30, 2011
9:49 a.m.
Fade to White
There is one story and one story only that will prove worth the telling. . .
                                                                              -- Robert Graves
Joseph Campbell suggested that myths are public dreams and our own personal dreams are our private myths.  We live in a time of shifting public dreams, with not much certain to believe in “out there,” although many of us cling to traditional paradigms for the comfort they provide.  Others of us turn to our private myths to provide meaning for our lives with the hope that at least we may be able to control -- or at least influence -- the environment “in here.”  These, who are increasingly tuned to “the beyond within” are the individuals who would be “masters of their fate,” but who realize that such a course must be undertaken with the greatest humility -- surrendering the entire outcome to a much greater destiny that shapes our ends. 
Where do I stand?  Somewhere between comfort and mastery.  I’m not ready to buy the old myths just because I’m attached to the stories and their happy endings.  Nor am I ready to throw out all that has gone before just because it seems to have failed to provide all the answers.  I do want a sense of control, a sense of “destiny,” to “take arms agains a sea of troubles,” not simply to be a passive observer, paralyzed with fear, on the deck of a sinking ship.  I want to find what is “mine to do” and to do it -- to play my own role to the best of my ability in this great human drama, in which I seem to be a single point of light in a vast tapestry of immense design.  I think of the musicians who played “Nearer My God to Thee,” as the Titanic went down.  It was a choice they made as a group.  If that is my role, let me play true until I can no longer breathe to blow my flute. 
*   *   *
I undertook the cross country walk with my daughter with a specific myth in mind:  I was Demeter the outraged mother, she was Persephone, the daughter who had been abducted by Hades, King of the underworld and taken to his underground realm.  Viveka’s husband, Richard was Hades.  The story was complicated, for Persephone’s father, Zeus had approved the marriage to his brother, Hades, without consulting Demeter, who was sister to the two brothers, which made Persephone Hades’ niece.  (Incest was common to the gods, apparently.)
Believe it or not, this ancient Greek myth fit my relationship with my daughter Viveka and my son-in-law, Richard to a remarkable degree.  Richard is much older than Viveka, more like a brother to me than a son-in-law.  I was not consulted about this match beforehand, and there were many things about it that angered me, not the least of these being the fact that Viveka had been living in a marginal, depressed and “underworld” environment ever since she married Richard.  They had suffered great reversals of fortune, and were living hand to mouth.  I had been called upon many times to “rescue” my daughter by loaning money, even buying property for them to live on, but the fact remained that my outrage and anger were always lurking beneath the surface.  Something about this family situation was not “right.”  I wanted to get to the bottom of it and discover what was really going on. 
Backstory:
What I discovered -- to my surprise -- was that Viveka had felt abandoned by me when she became an emancipated minor at age 16 in order to pursue her film career.  I did not feel I had abandoned her, after all this is what she had wanted, and had begged for.  It was a decision I must have regretted on some level,  for I also discovered remorse and a feeling of responsibility for Viveka’s (apparent) inability to manage her life.  I did have to acknowledge that I felt grief over signing away my parental responsibility before she was emotionally mature.  This fact was the source of my guilt and contributed to the anger I was feeling -- anger at myself for letting her make the choice, and not insisting that she enjoy a few more years of childhood.  I was afraid she would blame me in later years:  “I could have been somebody, and you stood in my way.”  It was a Catch-22.  There was no “correct” choice.  I did what I did.
So as the 198 days of our cross-country Sole 2 Soul walk fulfilled themselves we discovered that we were filling in those lost years.  We were completing her teen-age years, and I was fulfilling my responsibility as a parent.  Richard was really not the enemy.  The real enemy was the unacknowledged feelings of grief and anger and outrage over decisions that were made in my family history where I and other women had no part in the decision making and therefore had no say-so, and no control.  I truly got in touch with this deep cause of anger, and could identify with women throughout time and history, literally back to mythological times!  
Here is the real issue I had to confront:  cowardice.  
If one makes a decision one has to live with the consequences and take responsibility for it.  If one lets a decision be made for her, she can be a victim and blame others.  She takes no responsibility, but she can be angry because she was not part of the decision-making process.  But this is entirely dishonest.  The truth is she chose not to choose.  Why?  She was afraid.  She was more afraid of choosing than not choosing.  And still she does not want to be accountable for choosing to be a victim!
The answer:  
Getting in touch with the confusion and the anger smoldering underneath.  Seeing that it is misplaced.  Knowing that it is anger with myself for making a choice from fear instead of love.  But how could I have known this?  Without this bitter experience I could not have known the difference.  Therefore, coming from love, I can now forgive my unfortunate choice and start again with a clean slate.
What did Demeter do?  
She was not a coward, but she was a women in the company of very powerful men who weren’t disposed to consider her point of view.  She protested in the only way she could:  she threw a tantrum.  (See my blog on Tantrum Yoga.)  But what a tantrum!  Since she was the Goddess of harvest and fertility her tantrum meant that the earth did not produce its fruits.  The people were starving.  So the plight of the people found its way up to Zeus who had sanctioned and permitted, even suggested the marriage of Persephone to his lonely outcast brother, Hades.  Zeus was asked to resolve the world crisis.  How did he do it?  With the aid of Apollo (the Sun God) and Mercury (the messenger of the gods) a compromise was reached.  Persephone wanted to be returned topside, but she had eaten some pomegranate seeds and this meant that she was in some measure bound to the King of the underworld.  How many had she eaten?  3? 6? 9?  
The resolution / compromise: 
Zeus decreed that Persephone could dwell in the sunlight with her mother for a number of months of the year, but must return to the realm of the underworld for the rest of the year.  This created the seasons:  Summer and Winter.  How long will winter be?  3? 6? 9? months.  In different parts of the world the length of the seasons differ.  The world would suffer no more, but would harvest the grain and fruits in their seasons. 
*   *   *
Here is my challenge to all readers of this blog as I conclude:
Get in touch with your personal myth -- something that resonates with you and informs the story of your life.  Plunge deeply into the subconscious and unconscious sources of this strand of story.  It is like a piece of wood floating after the shipwreck.  Grab it.  It has the power to carry you along.  It is no accident that this particular piece of debris has come to your aid.  Its appeal is both personal and universal.  It reaches out to you.  It sings to you and will bring you to shore.
The reason it appeals to you is that you are the hero / heroine in this story.  It can be no other way.  When you find that story it will be like a key that will open up the starry night like the stories of the constellations have always opened up the cosmos:  from the standpoint of the merging of both the collective and the individual mythos.
And is there only one story?  Yes -- and -- no.  To be sure there are many individual stories, but the hero and the heroine’s journey have common structures that bind them all together:  a going out and a coming home with the elixir which brings joy and healing to those at home in the community.  And those waiting at home are of two types:  (1) those who are waiting to venture out -- the youth; and (2) those who have already ventured out -- the elders and ancestors.  All are waiting to welcome you home with the gifts you bring.
*   *   * 
Viveka and I will be making a film about our adventure, G-d willing.  It may take a year or more.  There will be some surprises, for I have not here told the whole story.  For example, Viveka’s version of the story differs from mine, as might be expected, which leads to some interesting moments of truth.  Another surprise involves the fact that the hero’s journey is not the same as the heroine’s journey.  And this is an important aspect of what we discovered.  For the purposes of this last blog, I have merely suggested a story-line, which we will be fleshing out with the footage we have gathered.
Stay tuned. . .
. . .Fade to white

Friday, November 18, 2011

Home 'n Stuff

Windsor Fountains Condo
Culver City, CA
November 17, 2011
2:15 p.m.
Home ‘n Stuff
Does a girl have to have cancer to make a wish, or have a dream come true?
                                                                                          --Viveka Davis
This is blog #32 in a series of 33 -- the next to last.  It’s time to look back and see if anything still needs to be said before we turn our attention to making a documentary film about our adventure, which could easily consume the next year -- or two.
Yes, there are several things.
GRANDMOTHER JOANNE
First and most of all, I would like to acknowledge my mother, Viveka’s grandmother, Joanne, who not only made our journey possible financially, but who made it necessary and desirable emotionally.  You see, Joanne (may she be remembered fondly) was of that “Rosie the Riveter” era -- some have called it “The Greatest Generation,” who weathered the great depression and waged World War II, and wanted to see their children have a better life.  “Better” to them meant more affluent and better educated.  They succeeded.  Because they provided for us materially, we had the luxury of hanging out in libraries and coffee houses, marching in protest parades and starting a revolution against the very values that our parents had made such vast sacrifices for.  I realize, with great gratitude and appreciation, that these words are being written because my mother, a child of immigrants with an eighth grade education, believed in me, and provided a way for me to have a voice.  She did this by working in her little beauty shop, dreaming of a better future for me and my brother, one pin-curl at a time.  Thank you Mother.  May your labors of love not have been in vain, and may the beauty you brought to others forever abide with you as well.
11:11:11: STAR KNOWLEDGE GATHERING
Second, I would be remiss if I did not mention the Cahokia Star Knowledge Gathering in Collinsville, IL 11:11:11 which Viveka and I participated in both as attendees and presenters.  Here is a description that went out prior to the event:
Chief Golden Light Eagle and many others invite you to join us for the 11:11:11 Cahokia Star Knowledge Gathering

The energy of the 11:11 has been building for many years, and the long awaited 11:11:11 offers us the opportunity to step through a portal of love, a window of opportunity to transcend from third dimensional beings to the next step in our evolution of consciousness to functioning as being multi-dimensional beings and honoring our connectedness with all there is.

During the Gathering we will focus on the importance of our Guardianship of the EARTH, AIR, FIRE, and WATER. What better place to merge with all there is than Collinsville, IL, near the WATERS of the Great Grandfather Mississippi River in the Heart of Grandmother Turtle Island (North America).

Your heart has the memory of the 11:11. Join us as we activate the memory and answer the Call to Awaken.
Now, writing one week after the fact, all I want to say is that I hope that you were in ceremony or in some spiritual gathering on 11:11:11 which allowed you to experience the remarkable energies that found expression on that occasion.  I and many others witnessed with great joy as we, as a planetary consciousness, passed over a threshold to mark a milestone in our evolution as a species. 

RE-ENTRY AND THE CHALLENGE OF “STUFF”
When I left on my journey last March, I cleared out my apartment so that I could rent it.   Because I lived in an RV for 7+ months I got used to the discipline of “stuff-less-ness.” I discovered that there is very little that I actually “need,” and it can all fit in a few suitcases.  What freedom!  Now that I am back I am faced with the “problem” of what to do with all of that stuff.  Part of me wants to dump it ALL at a charity thrift store.  Another part of me wants to sift and sort through it, and re-establish the attachments that time and distance have severed.

The truth is that the person who is returning home is not the same person who left.  She sees with different eyes, hears with different ears, and feels with a different heart.  She has tasted the freedom of detachment, and is not willing to enter once more into the bondage of things.
In any case, it is a high class problem to have, and I see it as a luxury.  In my next -- and final -- blog I will let you know how it all turned out. 
  

Saturday, November 5, 2011

How Are Decisions Made? (Part II)

WildeRose Guest House
Rogers, KY
November 4, 2011
8:57 a.m.
How Are Decisions Made?  (Part II)
“If you want to make God laugh, make a plan.”
                                             -- source unknown
Ideally, here is how I make decisions:  I gather the most complete set of facts and information available; then, using my reason and logic, (left brain) I consult further with my intuition and imagination, (right brain) and I select a course of action from an array of possibilities that best serves my highest ideals.
I said “ideally” because that is how I believed decisions “should” be made.  However, as a result of this recent cross-country trip with my daughter, Viveka, I have had the opportunity to observe my decision-making process in slow motion over the past few months.  I have concluded that I very rarely have the opportunity to make the “ideal” kinds of decisions.  In fact, I’m not even sure that I make decisions at all, although very often I do exercise my preferences, and seek consensus with others.  What I have called decisions in the past are merely the means I use to keep myself believing that I am in control.  And I am not.  
Am I a fatalist, then?  Do I believe in predestination?  No, neither of those.  But I have seen that my so-called free will is limited to a very simple kind of choice: not what actually happens -- for that is determined by forces far more complex than I could possibly command or control -- but only what attitude I assume about what actually happens, i.e. what I make it mean.  That is what I can control.  And only that.  I have direct control over my happiness when I choose or “decide” to accept it all with gratitude and joy, and learn the lesson that reality is affording me in this now moment.  What a privilege!  This is what I call “practicing the art of the possible,” a concept given me by a wise Guatemalan woman, Yoland Trevino.  
That is why, as the adventure unfolded I grew less and less fearful and appalled by circumstances that threatened our progress, and more and more amused and delighted with the seeming obstacles that turned up in our path, for example  a sudden death in the family of our driver (which called him away unexpectedly); our rejection / banishment by 1/2 of our team members; our vehicle’s mechanical failures; and the difficulties we had in keeping to our “schedule.”  
Because of the people we met and the relationships we formed, very often it was no simple matter to say goodbye and move on.  It was as though we could not leave certain places until we were “released” from them.  That was certainly the case with Sedona and the Santa Fe, Kansas City areas.
So we came to ask ourselves: “Who” or “what” is calling the shots and doing the “releasing”?  As we surrendered more and more to “Divine Order” and “Divine Will,” which we often referred to as “The Divine Feminine” or “Divine Mother” we found that our path was strewn with blessings.  Amazingly fortuitous things happened every day to convince us that we were living out a script or a plan that we could not possibly have devised.  And it was all designed to provide me with an opportunity for optimum, joyful spiritual growth.
But the grandest obstacle of all was encountered in Kentucky in August when my adversarial relationship with my son-in-law flared up.  This brought up all of my issues of personal heartbreak from childhood involving my mistrust of men, and brought to the forefront my need to work on my own shadow and heal my wounded inner child.  (See blogs entitled “Tantrum Yoga,” and “Golden Wedding Day.”)
*   *   *
The successful completion of the walk and the inner gifts I received from Spirit as a result, coupled with the work with Andrew Harvey at his Sacred Activism retreat in Oak Park IL early in October have given my life a new sparkle and verve.  What I am learning is to live my life more consistently and consciously from the inside out, taking into account the rich array of options in front of me.  It is as though half of me is sensitive to the beauty in things -- I’ll call that the feminine part -- and the other half is sensitive to the truth of things -- I’ll call that the masculine part.  There had been unnecessary misunderstanding up to now about the nature of these two ways of appreciating reality.  But, as with the ages-old conflict between religion and science, there now appear to be ways to reconcile these alienated partners -- who actually started out side by side on the path to human knowledge.  
Just as science and religion are attempting to answer different questions:  the how and what (science) as opposed to the why and wherefore (religion) so the “masculine” and “feminine” parts of my make-up are giving me two different versions of human value.  But I am now clear that one is not more “valuable” than the other.  They must work in partnership as the poet John Keats suggested in his poem “Ode on a Grecian Urn”:
  Beauty is truth, truth beauty, -- that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know. 
I can only begin with myself.  My heart is both an art studio and a science laboratory for this grand experiment.
  

Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Game's Afoot! (But Why Am I Walking?)

November 20, 2010
Culver City, CA

(Please note:  Originally published in 2010, this blog was the first in the series.  It was recently revised to correct an error.

*   *   * 

Rev. Doris Davis, a 72-year old Interfaith minister and three others, supported by an RV and driver, plan to walk 2700 miles from Oceanside, CA to Washington D.C. in the 6 1/2 months from March 8 to September 21, 2011.  They expect that local walkers -- both women and men -- will join them along the route (Oceanside / Phoenix / Albuquerque / Denver /  Kansas City / Indianapolis / Washington D.C.) for a little or a lot.  They will welcome the companionship and the conversation.  She writes:

Why Am I Walking?  
First of all the dates are significant:  March 8 is the 100th Anniversary of the International Day of Women, and September 21 is the International Day of Peace, declared by the United Nations.

Why Am I Walking?  
People always want to know.  But really, I want -- and need -- to know, and I ask myself many times a day, and get different answers.  If you ask me a year from now I may have a better answer, I may even have a book put together about what I saw, felt and learned from this adventure, but at this point, as I begin my training, I can say that I am inspired by a group of women (sole2soulwalk.com) who are imagining a world where women are equally valued decision makers all around the world in partnership with men.  The call has gone out for women to step up, step out, and step beyond their previously perceived and accepted limitations to make this happen in meaningful ways.

Why Am I Walking?  
As a 72-year-old White-Anglo Saxon-Protestant (WASP) woman who has had the benefits of being a wanted child, born into a stable, prosperous and orderly society, I have been blessed by abundance, opportunity and good fortune.  I have had a first class education, enjoyed excellent health, raised beautiful, healthy children and found meaningful work and advancement in a society where I have been free from want and fear.  I have no complaints whatsoever.  But I know that the blessings I have received are simply not available to billions of my brothers and sisters across the planet -- especially my sisters.

Why Am I Walking?  
Really, there are two kinds of answers:  outer ones and inner ones.  Outer answers are the ones people want to hear so that they can label them and perhaps dismiss them more easily, like: "I am walking to help cure cancer," or "to end world hunger" or "for nuclear disarmament and world peace."  But always between the goal and the reality there necessarily stands a great abyss.  The kindly well-wishers will say, "Good luck."  The cynical will add under the breath "That will never happen."  And quite often the bottom line will be the amount of money raised because that seems to justify everything in the end.

But the inner answer, the one that satisfies me and gets me up in the morning is more mysterious:  I am walking for no reason that I can put words to.  I am walking because in some deep inexplicable way I know that I was born to do this very thing -- crazy as it may seem.  It is not a matter of survival, it is a matter of completion.  Knowing this, I have arrived at a very meaningful and joyful place -- by G-d's grace.  I aim to be celebrating my gratitude every step of the way.   
Let me be careful to explain that last paragraph, because it is important:  I am walking because I have already arrived at a place where I can see that  ALL ARE NOT THERE YET.  Still, I want to draw others -- especially women -- out of striving and efforting into the circle of celebration, where they can experience the perfection and the completion of the NOW moment.  I am walking because I can, and because I choose to integrate walk and talk;  because my life is about the unalienable right -- meaning the power and freedom -- to CHOOSE to have my life be exactly the way it is.  All else flows from the first choice to be at peace from within.  With my head in the clouds and my feet on the earth I am choosing to integrate the spiritual, mental, emotional and physical aspects of my existence in the most meaningful way I can imagine.  I am literally walking my talk.  This is a pilgrimage, and every step is a prayer.

Why Am I Walking?  
When men's feet touched the surface of the moon and walked, there was great rejoicing.  A small step for man was a giant leap for mankind.  Similarly, I am holding a vision for this walk:  When women's feet walk the earth with that kind of intention we will see giant strides for humankind.  The sleeping sister giant will awaken with all of her latent potential for decency and compassion.  The Dalai Lama said in 2009, "The Western woman will save the world."  The Dalai Lama and I agree, and I am walking to gather the WOmentum for the next quantum leap in our collective evolution.  There are many ways that men as well as women can join this movement.  For details, e-mail me at walkdoriswalk@gmail.com

And Finally:  Why Am I Walking? -- NOT!
Firstly, I am NOT walking to demonize or blame men or "the patriarchy."  I am not walking to defy, fight against, or change anything.  I doubt that anything can be changed until and unless it is fully acknowledged, as experienced,  and therefore completed.  It must be allowed to be just the way it is, and the way it is not.  No doubt the critical change I want to see in the individual and in the collective will come from within.  I will be writing more of this in future blogs.

Secondly, I am not walking primarily to raise money for myself or for any cause.  All I want is for people to use my example and whatever inspiration it may spark to get in touch with whatever it is that they are passionately committed to, and to find a way creatively to embody the new paradigm that they want to operate from in their own reality.  Yes, our little expedition will have need of money, for gas and food and many contingencies unforseen, but we are stepping out on faith, knowing that our needs are known before we ask and therefore we will be provided for.  Love offerings will always be gratefully accepted in the name of the Divine Mother.

Always Victory!

Doris


















































Saturday, October 29, 2011

How Are Decisions Made? (Part I)

WildeRose Guest House
Rogers, KY
October 28, 2011
5:16 p.m.
How Are Decisions Made?  (Part I)
“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”      --Yogi Berra
One of the main themes of this Sole 2 Soul adventure -- which began last March as a celebration of the 100th Anniversary of International Women’s Day, and officially ended on September 21, 2011, the International Day of Peace -- has been the issue of decision-making.  As an individual, as a pair of partners, as a group, as a family, a tribe, a nation, the same question always begs for clarification:  How are decisions made?  When faced with a choice of paths forward, how do we eliminate all but the one we select?  How do we settle on the one that shows the most promise?
It’s complicated, as brain research is showing us.
I have often assumed the popular notion that our human brains, divided into left and right hemispheres somehow affect the decision-making process.  And I must confess I have often greatly oversimplified the matter by assuming the left brain to be associated with the more rational, linear, focused kind of thinking, hence “more masculine.” and the right brain to be associated with the more emotional, global, and intuitive kind of thinking, hence “more feminine.”  
For the purposes of our cause -- i.e. women as equally valued decision makers, whose full participation and contributions are essential now to resolve our local and global challenges -- it was convenient to say that if there was an imbalance in the world, it was because we had become too weighted in the direction of left-brain thinking.  Therefore, we were advocating a shift in the balance, loosely identifying this as a greater emphasis on “feminine values,” and in an even more mystical and dramatic way calling for “The Return of the Divine Feminine.”  
I have recently seen a presentation which casts a great deal of light onto this subject, and I invite you to consider it as part of this blog presentation, which I am calling Part I of a two-part series.  Instead of reading anything more I have to say, please take 12 minutes to view the TED presentation by psychiatrist Iain McGilchrist:  “The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World.”  McGilchrist, a psychiatrist makes the case in a very engaging and humorous way -- supported by brilliant graphics -- that left-brain thinking has tended to take precedence.  A very notable imbalance has resulted, which some might call a cultural bias. 
His summary conclusion works to correct our previous oversimplifications.  He says, “For imagination you need both [hemispheres] and for reason you need both hemispheres as well,” implying that both imagination and reason require cooperative interaction of the whole brain.  
He does not make the case that one kind of thinking is “masculine” and the other is “feminine,” for the fact remains that both men and women have both attributes.  But he does state that the divided brain offers us two versions of the world, and that there has been a tendency to value one kind of thinking and hence (my inference) one kind of decision-making over the other.  
After having viewed the presentation several times, I am struck by the fact that all of the cartoons (with only a couple of exceptions) are of male figures -- doctors, patients, historical figures, etc.  I am also struck by the fact, supported by the research, that the right hemisphere tends to lack a voice with which to express and project its views, whereas the left hemisphere is more comfortable with the control of the media of conceptualization and expression. 
He concludes with a striking quotation from Albert Einstein:  “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant.  We have created a society that honors the servant but has forgotten the gift.”
This blog will be continued in Part II, and I heartily invite comment.

Friday, October 21, 2011

A Grandmother's Lesson for Advanced Beginners

WildeRose Guest House
Rogers, KY
October 20, 2011
11:09 a.m.
A Grandmother’s Lesson For Advanced Beginners
To move forward the understanding that women’s full participation and contributions, in partnership with men, are essential now to resolve our local and global challenges and to create the positive future we all know is possible!  
                                      --Mission Statement of Sole 2 Soul Walk -- 3/8/11 - 9/21/11
For several months on our cross-country journey I had been considering how to summarize and condense what I was learning about what might be involved in a movement which could be described as “The Return of the Divine Feminine.”  I see this as a mighty and powerful possibility dawning on the world horizon, but which, I learned, is by no means is a shared reality in our collective experience.  The journey of the past seven months has taught me that turning a possibility into a reality begins with intentionally creating a conceptual framework which can be used to organize thoughts, feelings and actions.
At the conclusion of Andrew Harvey’s Sacred Activism initiation retreat which took place October 1-7 in Oak Park, IL,*  each of the participants was given the floor for a few minutes to teach a wisdom lesson.  This would be our “graduation ceremony” and evidence of our readiness to bring our gifts into the world.   
What follows are excerpts from my platform talk -- a very simple teaching designed to reach any human from the preschool age forward.  It was given before  30 fellow “classmates.”  I dedicated my talk to my own mother, Joan, who gave me the priceless gift of unconditional love, and to my very earliest elementary teachers -- I still remember their names and faces -- who grounded me in the beauty of their radiant mother wisdom.
*   *   *
The lesson begins:

“Here we are all ‘Advanced Beginners.’  So I would like you to remember your kindergarten teacher.  In kindergarten teachers often teach lessons with their hands (she makes the movement of the “Eentsy Weentsy Spider climbing up the water spout).  
I’d like you to start by drawing the outline of your left hand with your right hand, starting at the base of the thumb.  Remember, we used to do this, and we drew a handprint which became a turkey for Thanksgiving, when we colored in the feathers, remember? Or we made an impression in clay, which our mothers cherished, remembering that your little hands made that with so much love for Mother’s Day.  
I want you to feel your left hand when your right hand draws around it, and know that when the right side of your body engages with the left side of your body, the two halves of your brain light up in a special way.  Wholeness is experienced in a neuro-psysiological and neuro-psychological way.  And now I am going to drop the adult language and speak to you the way I would to my 3-year-old grandson, Ashton.
*   *   *
“Ashton, there are five things your grandmother wants you to know -- and these may sound like big words, but I know you can understand them because there is one word for each finger of your hand.  As I speak, do as I do with your hand.  It will help you to understand.
(Pointing to left index finger with right index finger, with left index finger pointing upwards)
“The first one is CONSCIOUSNESS.  (tapping on the index finger) Consciousness is yours -- It is how you know that you are you.  And it points upward, reminding you that your little consciousness is connected with God -- the biggest consciousness of ALL.  Never forget who you are, and your connection with the creator, the All in All.
“The second one is next to it.  Because it is next door it is a neighbor, or a sister, or a brother, or a friend.  And you discover it after you go down into the gap between them.  (Drawing the “V” space between first and second finger)  This finger is called COMMUNICATION.  Once your consciousness realizes who it is, it wants to communicate with the one next to it, and it does this by words and movements.  And words and communication are the second thing I want you to remember, because with communication now, there is a bond between you and the other -- and any and all others.
“The next thing -- and by the way in order to get to the next thing, you have to go through the gap once again.  I’m going to name those gaps for you.  The first gap was called COMPASSION; and the second gap is called COMPASSION . . .  (laughter).  I think you see how this is going to go?  
And when you go through the second gap of compassion you come to the third finger:  CULTURE.  And this is what your grandmother wants you to know:  (Reviewing by continuing to count on the fingers) 
Connected with God, communicating with one another, we create, always through the journey of compassion, a culture.  We agree that certain things are important, certain things are valuable, and this becomes our shared culture.  It’s the story of us -- of who we know ourselves to be, in relationship with the one (pointing up) and the many (counting on the first three fingers).  If we value peace, for example, we create a culture of peace.  (Makes “Peace” sign with fingers.)  And we Work together for it.  (Three fingers make a “W”.)  But that all comes later, much later, when you begin to learn the alphabet!)
“For now, I just want you to know about the next finger -- about this pinkie here -- the littlest finger.  This one is a little weaker and a little smaller.  It is called COMMUNITY.  It means all of us together in a family or a tribe or a nation or in the world.  But I want you to know that, even though community  can be weak, through compassion, once again (tracing through the gap) community can also be strong when these four stand together.
“And these are your fingers, Ashton.  And do you notice that even though your fingers are all different, they are still all the same!  They look like a family.  Like your family!  They can stand tall, and they can fan out, and they can curve and bend, and wave and wiggle.  Show me what your fingers can do!  Isn’t that fun?
“But I know you want to ask me about this guy here.  (She sticks out her thumb.)  Who is this guy?
“Your thumb!  That’s right.  He’s not a finger.  He is different.  Did you notice that Consciousness, Communication and Culture and Community all start with the sound “C?”  That is the letter “C?” and we will get to letters and their sounds later.  But for now, what about him?  Is he part of or apart from the rest?  Let’s see.  The compassion gap between him and consciousness is the greatest of all.  And he does stand apart.  He stands in opposition.  He’s short and thick and a bit squat.  Definitely odd.  So what do we do with this guy?  Do we ignore him?  Do we cut him off?  Pretend he is not there?  Make him disappear?  Make him ashamed?
“We will call him the CONTRARIAN.  The one who won’t fit in.  But again,  if we use the power of compassion to move in his direction, to really get to know him we can see that he has a very unusual ability to give power and energy to all of the others -- if we work with him and let him work with us.  He is not a finger.  He is different.  He is a thumb.  But he gives power to all of us -- if we work together.
“He is that which, by his opposition, gives wholeness and strength and articulation to our hand -- intelligence.  That’s right.  The thumb makes the hand much smarter.  He is the one who helps us to be different from the animals who only have paws.  He is the one who can make a fist, or a wonderful tool. He wants to be useful for carrying and caressing and giving and helping.  He helps us to grasp things!  What a wonderful power he gives us.  And someday, Ashton, you will understand that because of the extra power he gives us, our minds have grown to understand and grasp a great many things.  The way we use our hands makes us intelligent human beings!
“Ashton, this is your hand.  Give your hand to your hand.  Shake hands with yourself!  Make friends with the two halves of yourself, and use your whole self to do good things, like making friends, and seeing the wholeness in others.
(She uses her hands to make the gesture of namaste.)
“And remember that it is your grandmother who taught you these important things when you were just a wee beginner.” 
__________________________
See previous blog gatheringwomentum.blogspot.com posted October 13, 2011 -- “Sacred Activist:”  Is There A Badge For That?

Thursday, October 13, 2011

"Sacred Activist:" Is There A Badge For That?

WildeRose Guest House
Rogers, KY
October 11, 2011
10:15 p.m.
“Sacred Activist:” Is There A Badge For That?
Andrew Harvey was so right.  This was not a “workshop.”  There was no “shop,” and there was no “work.”  It was neither a class nor a seminar.  Not a symposium, forum, or a salon.  It was not meant to be any of those.
For the week of October 1 - 7, 2011, at the Carlton Hotel in Oak, Park Illinois, a suburb of of Chicago, I was one of 33 who were privileged to share something very rare: an initiatory retreat.  In fact, it was so rare as to be almost mythical, for the impetus and intention was coming from another realm, deeply shrouded in history and mystery.  It had the air of an experiment; and the results were not guaranteed.  Success would depend upon an “X” factor, which would have to be supplied by each one of us individually.  “Worthiness” would be a key issue. 
The candidates wishing to become “Sacred Activists”  would be subject to an initiatory template.  They would be drawn into “a celebration of the integration of light and dark, chaos and order, rapture and agony, desolation and hope in a mysterious marriage of opposites that births the radiant and committed divine human being.”  No less!  (see   http://www.onespiritinterfaith.org/havrey_intensive.pdf  )
I knew I was supposed to be there because a few weeks before I had received a message from a trusted spirit guide -- (some of my readers will stop reading at this point -- and I cannot blame them) -- that it is time to re-enact the Eleusinian Mysteries, and that Viveka and I, as mother and daughter, representing Demeter and Persephone needed to take part.  http://www.pantheon.org/articles/e/eleusinian_mysteries.html 
The Eleusinian mysteries, from ancient times, have been an initiation experience.  They involve a guided journey, originally inspired and led by the mother-daughter presence of Demeter and Persephone.  Initiates are ushered into the realms of the subconscious and the unconscious where we do the work of liberating energies that have been bound up in the psyche.  This is the shadow work, brought to light in modern times by C.J. Jung and others, and it is best accessed, we found, through radical forgiveness techniques.  I had the distinct conviction that we were all there by divine appointment, working out the next steps in our spiritual evolution.  
Although I did experience “an initiation,” I was also very aware that this is not a one-time pass or fail exam.  Rather it is a lifelong process and practice, to be undertaken with great care, patience and humility.  We were a roomful of “advanced beginners” approaching a distinct energy field, passing through it, and departing with every cell and atom and molecule of our being having been affected -- recharged and reoriented -- like iron filings passing through a magnetic field.
Don't get me wrong.  It was not as though we were encountering any of this material for the first time.  All of the participants were mature individuals who had clearly done extensive personal work prior to this experience.  What was unique about the opportunity was Andrew's ability to help us to understand the urgency of this work on the planet at this particular time.  He helped us to confront our levels of disbelief, denial, dread disillusionment and even our own death wishes.  It was not the nature of the work itself, but the way that he encouraged us to engage with it in a deeply feeling way that made the difference.  
The sacred marriage is the meeting and fusion of the divine masculine with the divine feminine within the individual:  head and heart, rationality and intuition, left and right hemispheres of the brain learning a new dance.  And all of this activity is offered and dedicated to the birth of a new humanity: divinely human, and humanly divine.
As a mentor, Andrew is absolutely unique and absolutely inspired.  There is no teacher on the planet like him today.  He is not a manipulator.  He is careful not to be idolized.  He is not someone who “jacks them up and glazes them over,” as are so many teachers in this age of feelgood new-age spirituality.  Andrew sees the need for individuals to be willing to confront their own shadows, which in all of us are legion.  This is messy work, which can involve coming face to face with extremes -- despair and grief, even madness.  And the reason Andrew is so effective in this work, in my opinion, is that he is constantly working on his own material; fiercely, and without compromise.  
Andrew’s work is about the celebration of the return of the Divine Feminine -- in consciousness, communication, culture, and community -- with compassion for the rejected aspects of the self.  It also integrates body mind and spirit by using a gentle, fulfilling yoga practice, which I have now incorporated into my daily routine.  Most importantly, however, I am enjoying an entirely new level of freedom having confronted new levels of darkness in myself, and having accessed the grace of self-forgiveness. 
Blessed by a mind immersed in the very highest levels of scholarship, and with the rarest gifts of poetic expression and the power of the spoken word, Andrew’s teachings are laced with humor and an endearing gift for self-mockery.  He and his expert female co-teachers, Karuna Erickson and Diane Burke, guided us from joyful mountaintop experiences, through the confusing straits of duality, plunging us into the realms of starkest horror and anguish as we viewed the current world situation, coming face to face with the specters of our own responsibility, abdication and powerlessness.
Miraculously, we all surfaced to breathe in new strength and hope for the individual and collective tasks in the challenging times that lie ahead.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Abnormal Is Not Courage

Chicago, IL
October 3, 2011
7:54 a.m.
The Abnormal is Not Courage
. . .
Not the marvelous act, but the evident conclusion of being. 
. . .
The real form. The culmination. And the exceeding. 
. . .
Not the month's rapture. Not the exception. The beauty 
That is of many days. Steady and clear. 
It is the normal excellence, of long accomplishment. 
                          from “The Abnormal is Not Courage” by Jack Gilbert
It’s been a couple of weeks since my daughter Viveka and I completed our cross-country pilgrimage from Oceanside, California to Washington D.C.  We’ve had a chance to enjoy a few “victory laps” -- absorbing congratulations and bathing in the glow of accomplishment: a sizable task completed.  
I almost said “monumental task” but it wasn’t.  After all, I did not walk every step of the way as some have.  I only walked about 750 miles.  For instance, I recall the example of “Granny D” (whose name was also Doris) who, at 89, actually did walk every step of the way for her cause celebre:  campaign finance reform.  After her walk, she made an unsuccessful bid for a seat in the House of Representatives.  And of course, there is always the legendary journey of Mildred Norman Ryder, a.k.a. Peace Pilgrim, who walked well over 25,000 miles -- the distance of the circumference of the earth -- in fulfillment of her vow “to be a wayfarer on the earth until mankind shall have learned the ways of peace.”  Compared with her hard core, 28-year commitment, our journey of 6 1/2 months, supported by the nightly comfort of an RV seemed like school-girl play acting.
I have to be honest.  I began this journey with much soul searching, and I finally discovered the “reason” I was walking:  I wanted attention.  And the thing that terrified me most was the very attention I would certainly get.  (Be careful what you wish for!)  I was genuinely afraid that when the camera was on and the interviewer asked the pregnant question “What is this walk about?” what would issue from my mouth would be insignificant dribble.  No memorable sound bites.  No quotable quotes.  I was afraid that my true motivation would somehow leak through and would appear mean and selfish; an exercise in ego gratification.  So we gave ourselves a statement of intention -- a banner to walk under:  We are walking to further the understanding that women’s full participation is essential NOW to solve the global challenges facing humanity today.  It sounded good.  But the nagging question still remained:  Could the mere fact of walking really make a difference?  How much of a difference?  To whom? 
Many people we talked to were skeptical.  When I shared the truly monumental mission of Peace Pilgrim with one gentleman he said, “Well, you can see how much good that did!”  Often we could tell, even though folks listened politely, they were threatened on some level.  Some were even bold enough to say our mission was flawed; that women were simply not, nor would ever be “equally-valued” decision makers.  Decision-making (on “important” issues, i.e. issues other than domestic ones) was not the purview of women.  Still others thought our cause was passe; that the “women’s lib” train had already left the station.  They could not hear that we were not feminists, or “womanists” but were advocating a greater balance between masculine and feminine -- left and right brain -- values both in the culture, and within the individual.
Since it was not our purpose to raise money we didn’t appeal to people to vote with their checkbooks. With all due respect to people who do raise money and contribute it to good causes, like finding a cure for cancer, Viveka and I were stubbornly insisting that one doesn’t have to have cancer or be at death’s door to have a dream.  One could make a difference by simply having an intention, and taking steps -- literally -- to walk one’s talk and to be the change we wanted to see in the world.
We soon realized that people thought what we were doing was courageous.  I was called “a saint,” “a prophetess.”  I had to laugh, and yet I had to pay attention to what other people were seeing and projecting on to me.  They saw an old woman walking with intention.  Some were touched, moved and inspired, and the exchanges that took place between us, time and time again as we walked and talked, left us all enriched and energized in a good way. 
*   *   * 
Was Don Quixote courageous?  If you say “yes,” then you believe that a desperate and demented senior citizen can dream an impossible dream -- an antiquated but noble dream of chivalry undertaken to prove himself worthy of the love of a worthy woman (Dulcinea) -- even if she is not the pure and spotless creature he imagines her to be.  One questionable quester, by taking himself seriously and refusing to listen to the fears and taunts of others, can climb on to a broken down nag (Rocinante) and sally forth to become a legend in his own mind.  If you say “yes,” then you are a romantic.
If you say “no,” then you belong to another group who sees the world more “realistically.”  That is not “courage,” you would say, with a cynic’s air.  “That’s just weird, strange or foolish.  That’s abnormal.”  As, for example, when the Poles rode out on horses to battle Hitler’s invading tanks.  Where was the nobility in their fruitless sacrifice?  Better they should have simply surrendered, and saved themselves the heartbreak.  They should -- at least -- have spared their noble horses.
In the end, I found that the only thing that could rescue this enterprise from hopeless narcissism was to pray each day as we set out, that our efforts would be received as an offering, an oblation; that a higher purpose and power would receive and use this effort and energy for the greater good and for the liberation of all sentient beings.  
How is that possible?  How will that happen?  I do not know.  That is not my department.  But I am confident that my daily offerings were heard and received, and like the fluttering of butterfly wings in the Amazon, they can affect the weather patterns in the Arctic, and somehow, in concert with many many others who are making similar offerings each day, we can, together, create a shift that will benefit the whole of creation.
*   *   *
What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world makes us immortal.”     --Albert Pike

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Apotheosis

Washington, D.C.
September 22, 2011

Apotheosis 
   
  noun (plural apotheoses /-siːz/)
1 the highest point in the development of something; a culmination or climax
2 the elevation of someone to divine status

I began my pilgrimage with an end in mind.  Very often I would imagine the culmination of the journey as we plied our way across and about America.  I had promised myself that I would arrive on September 21 -- God willing -- at the Washington monument, and would take the elevator to the capstone, and that I would find a place to meditate, or reflect.  I prayed to receive a vision of some kind that I could share with others.
The capstone of a pyramid has special significance in occult lore:  it represents “the all-seeing eye of God.”  This idea is reinforced on every U.S. dollar bill.  I could think of no place in our country that would be more charged with the energy of intention than that space, knowing that our first President was a man of spiritual attainment who was very conscious about the selection of the capital city, and the key governmental sites.
In addition, Viveka and I had begun our journey on the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day, March 8, and we fantasized about a “flash mob” impromptu performance of 100 women representing the most influential women of history dancing along the edges of the reflecting pool in front of the Lincoln memorial.
Finally, since it was the International Day of Peace, we also expected that somewhere in the city there would be some kind of meeting or demonstration or commemoration of the day, which we would be drawn into.
Well, nothing remotely like any of that happened, or was even possible.
First of all, we had learned several weeks earlier that the Washington monument had been closed due to structural damage resulting from a recent earthquake.
Second of all, the reflecting pool was being renovated.  There was only dirt and noisy excavation taking place in the pool area.
Third, we could find only one event in celebration of the International Day of Peace -- some comedians would be “Standing Up for Peace” at the Improv, a comedy club, later that night.
So we changed our plan, and arrived before dawn at the Lincoln memorial so that we could sit on the steps and have our meditation before the crowds arrived.  The Washington monument was only half-visible in the fog across the mall, and we sat sharing the space with security guards and a few dedicated runners and joggers. 
We then “did our last miles” by visiting each of the impressive memorials and monuments in the area:  The Viet Nam War, World War II, The Washington Monument, The Korean Conflict, The Franklin Delano Roosevelt memorial, and the newest one, for Martin Luther King, Jr., which will be inaugurated in October of this year. 
I knew my journey was complete when I saw a black woman in her 60s standing in front of one of the memorable quotations by Dr. King which adorn this impressive memorial, built to express both a mountain of despair and the emergence of hope.  
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.  
Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”
I could tell that she was on the verge of tears, as was I.  My heart went out to her and we hugged each other, complete strangers, soul sisters.  
“Martin wouldn’t want me to cry,” she said.
“I’m not so sure,” I said.  “You won’t mind if I do, will you?”  We cried together.
I told her that I had just completed my walk “across and about” America for the last 6 1/2 months.  Some people overheard me, and soon there was a crowd gathered around.  These were people, I soon learned, all in their 60s and 70s who had all lived through the struggle for civil rights, like myself, and felt defined by that era.  There was a man who had walked with Dr. King in Selma.  There were interfaith people there, people who had been at the Parliament of World Religions in Capetown and Barcelona.  I had been in Barcelona and Melbourne as well.  We all started singing and celebrating and taking pictures.   “We Shall Overcome . . .”
Yes, we even sang “Kumba-ya!”
I couldn’t have planned a more touching or fulfilling “Victory Lap.”  Somehow it felt as though all my friends had showed up!
*   *   *
What I had expected, planned and envisioned as a culmination was not what I got.  Even later that night at the Improv, where we expected to at least see comedians “Standing Up for Peace,” there was no such program!  But I will say this:
Later that afternoon in the garden of the Mandarin Oriental Hotel, where we stopped to rest and have a cup of tea, I did receive a vision.  I am not quite sure I can share it with you in this forum, or if it is appropriate, but I was left with the distinct knowledge and assurance that everything unfolded and is unfolding exactly as it should, and in the great scheme of things, all is well!