Sunday, July 31, 2011

Equal Is Not the Same

Columbia, Missouri
July 25, 2011
12:53 p.m.
Equal is Not the Same
If particular care and attention is not paid to the Ladies we are determined to foment a Rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any Laws in which we have no voice, or Representation."          --Abigail Adams, 1776
I was told recently by a man I respect greatly that in his opinion our Sole 2 Soul Walk mission was flawed.  His argument centered around the notion of equality.  “Men and women are not equal,” he asserted, implying that to “imagine a world where women are equally-valued decision makers in partnership with men worldwide,” as our mission statement suggests, is not only a vain hope, it is out of sync with the divine order of things.
As I listened intently to this accomplished and highly successful gentleman, and observed him in several contexts, both personal and professional, I realized that his view was consistent with deeply held beliefs -- more like truth principles -- to which he had dedicated his life.  In several sessions of conversations over a three-day period adding up to more than 10 hours of face to face conversation with my daughter Viveka and myself, combined with deep immersion into his domain and lifestyle, we marveled at the beauty and harmony of what he had created.  In all of the areas which I value:  consciousness, culture, community, creativity, and communication I saw nothing but integrity, consistency, wisdom, power and love operating through and through.  He had established among his family and employees a workable paradigm for a happy lifestyle.
Although he clearly admired me and our efforts and dedication to higher principle, he considered our mission to be at best misguided and therefore ultimately insignificant in the greater scheme of things.  Our espoused cause added up to a waste of time and therefore was doomed to fail. 
As I lack the skills of debate I did not enter into an argument or try to defend my position.  I was in his territory, after all, a place where he presided.  Rather, I listened intently to his point of view in order to understand how it was that I could love and admire someone so deeply and still feel, and maybe even fear, that we could not resolve our differences and come into a place of unity. 
So what were the differences that appeared unresolvable between us?  I believe it was the idea of subjection: the principle that men take precedence over women in the hierarchy of things, and therefore are entitled to a “divine authority” over them.  Perhaps this is an oversimplification, but it has implications and ramifications that can lead to injustice in my view.
Clearly my discontent stems from personal experience in my family history where male dominance was asserted, and women (and children) were expected to comply with demands which did not seem to take their ideas and needs into consideration.  In a society where “all men are created equal,” some were definitely more “equal” than others, and women, long considered as “property” were discounted as decision-makers, and were expected to go along with those in authority -- even when they perceived that authority not to be in their best interests, nor in the best interests of the whole.  Insubordination to the dominant authority was met with forceful wrath, violence and abuse. 
This was clearly not the case in the example of my esteemed friend, for those in his community had freely subjected themselves to his authority and leadership.  But I could not help but wonder what would be the position of women who are unmarried and / or choose to remain so, or widowed, or seek a greater measure of independence or autonomy?  How are such women viewed by this strictly patriarchal system?  Their gifts may go largely undervalued and underutilized.  And what about the males who do not fit into the “alpha male” paradigm?  Would they be found unworthy?
In a theocracy these questions are resolved differently from a monarchy or a democracy or a republic or a dictatorship or even a tribal council.   The huge question that Viveka and I have been asking ourselves from the very beginning -- in our relationship as in every human endeavor -- “How are decisions made?”  Where does the power lie, and how is it wielded? 
There is a lot of confusion in the world today around this questions of equality, inclusion, and authority -- for there are many different models, different methods for coming into unity.  Since beginning this inquiry, I have seen that it begins within the individual, not between individuals.  Each individual has a whole council within him or her, all vying for a voice around the table of consciousness.  How does one rule this unruly tribe within, where very often ego has been allowed to rule.  Even as a woman, I have experienced both “masculine” and “feminine” aspects of myself, and am constantly aware of the need to balance these energies within myself in order to function effectively.  Personally, I have found it more satisfying to submit to a “higher power” than to a temporal authority, whether it be a parent, a boss, or a government official.  If my allegiance to that higher power is first established -- as in “Seek first the Kingdom of G-d and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you,” I can support the authority of others over me when I know that it is also motivated by the same allegiance.  On the other hand, when I do not sense that righteous authority is being properly asserted, I find myself in conflict, and must speak up.  Finding my voice and overcoming my conditioning as a female to remain silent has been one of the most challenging aspects of this walk.
To walk one’s talk, one must also talk one’s walk, and that is what I am learning.
*   *   *
I began this essay with the hidden assumption that men and women are and should be equal -- an assumption that has not been shared by human society at large.  At best it has recently received some lip service.  While I would agree that male and female are not the same, just as two sides of an equation are not the same, yet there is, in my view, a spiritual equality that links them together.  Two sides of the equation appear very different and yet they are the same in a very real sense.  As it says in the book of Genesis, “Let US create man in OUR image.  Male AND female created He them.”    This implies a plural agency at work -- a creative divinity that is BOTH masculine and feminine -- or as some have suggested, NEITHER masculine NOR feminine!  (my italics and capitalization)    
My powerful (and charming) friend did allow that women, although not “equal,”  were very possibly “more equal” than men.  He elaborated on this paradox by explaining that in his estimation women are worthy of the greatest respect and consideration in the marriage relationship.  He then described the process by which he and his wife made decisions:  they discussed the issues and alternatives and came to a point of agreement.  They worked together in their marriage at becoming unified and acting as one.
Several days later a word came to me that seemed to satisfy me in expressing how it is that equality does not have to imply sameness -- thus, the title of this piece “Equal Is Not the Same.  If we were to recognize and celebrate our uniqueness and individuality we could rightly call both men and women not merely equal, but UNIQUAL.
Thus are equality and uniqueness abiding together in a single concept.  I will sleep better knowing that my friend and I can possibly agree on a notion that leads to more powerful and more satisfying partnerships between men and women.   

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

"Virtual Walkers" Wanted

Lee’s Summit, Missouri
July 19, 2011
2:14 p.m.
“Virtual Walkers” Wanted
“Just as many hands make light work, many feet abbreviate the journey”
                                                                           -- Doris and Viveka Davis
We expected this:  summer heat and humidity making our walk more challenging in the midwest.  For the past two months traveling through Kansas and into western Missouri, temperatures have often been over 100 degrees.  Nevertheless, we have been holding true to our promise to walk a total of 11.1 miles a day 5 days a week.  For us this means that two people walking 5.5 miles are the same as one person walking 11.1 miles.  In this manner we have been accepting the help of friends who have walked with us.  
Most of these have walked beside us, enhancing the walking time with engaging conversation.  You might call them fellow travelers.  But some of these have been logging their miles on their own, in remote locations -- we call them “Virtual Walkers.”  They are letting us know that they are walking with purpose and intention in support of a specific cause or idea. 
We absolutely love it when people -- men AND women -- e-mail us at walkdoriswalk@gmail.com and let us know they are walking.  This is the way we are literally gathering WO-MEN-tum.  By the time we arrive in Washington, D.C. in September, we expect we will have many more in our ranks, both literal and virtual.
Here are a few of their names as best we can recall.
Zachary in Needles, AZ
Ivory in Yuma, AZ
Kaeylarae in Sedona, AZ
Geneva in Sedona, AZ
Celeste in Sedona, AZ
Marilyn in Sedona, AZ
Nancy in Sedona, AZ
Uqualla in Sedona, AZ
Ken in Sedona, AZ
Dan in Sedona, AZ
Sarb Nam (and other Sikh women) in Espanola, NM
Guru Kiren in Espanola, NM
Harimander in Espanola, NM
Rahmaneh in Santa Fe, NM
Cameron in Santa Fe, NM
Annie in Santa Fe, NM
Bashira in Santa Fe, NM
Sulis in Santa Fe, NM
Asharaya and Issael in Santa Fe, NM
“Mudman” in Abiquiu, NM
Leah in Santa Fe, NM
Carol in Santa Fe, NM
Edwin in Santa Fe, NM
Sulis at Lama Foundation, NM
Marty G in Kinsley, KS
Marty P in Kinsley, KS
Ruth in Platte Woods, MO
Tom in Platte Woods, MO
Patience in Platte Woods, MO
Mona in Lee’s Summit, MO
LouAnn in Lee’s Summit, MO
Gary in Kansas City, MO
and
Sandy in MEXICO!
If you want to become a “Virtual Walker” for Sole 2 Soul Walk it is easy AND simple.  Just e-mail me at doriswdavis@gmail.com and let us know how many miles you walked and what you are walking for.  It needn’t be the same as our purpose:  “Imagining a WORLD where women are equally valued decision-makers in partnership with men,” it just needs to be something you care about enough to walk your talk about.
We look forward to joining with you in bringing positive change into our lives and into our world.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Our Mother's Mission Part III: Connecting, Thanking, Praising, Trusting

Kansas City, Missouri
July 11, 2011
11:42 a.m.
Our Mother’s Mission Part III:
Connecting, Thanking, Praising, Trusting
“Deeper into the woods the path itself becomes illumined”
                                                                            --anonymous
Crossing the Missouri river, swollen with the threat of flooding, we drove from North Kansas City to the older section of town.  For a moment we caught a view of the skyline.  One roof in particular stood out.  It was the golden spire of a church ablaze in the setting sunlight.  
Half an hour later we were in the sitting room of a senior housing facility in the city, interviewing the 90-year old mother of a friend, let’s call her Sara.  We had realized we hadn’t talked in depth with many women older than myself -- I’m 72 -- and we wanted her perspective, for she remembers butting her head up against the so-called “glass ceiling” of limited career advancement in the 50s and 60s.  Being a self-described rebel (and a single widowed working mother) she knows that she played her part in the 70s to shatter the barrier, if only through her attitude of support for other women in their struggles and victories.  Needless to say, Sara was very supportive of Sole 2 Soul Walk, and but for her weak knees would probably be walking with us -- at least for a few symbolic blocks. 
Scouting for a quiet place for the interview, away from background noise of the residents’ conversation and television, we went into the patio and Viveka noticed that very church -- the one with the gleaming golden cupola -- was standing right next door!  What were the chances?  We hadn’t planned it in the least.  So when I had the opportunity, I asked Sara about the church.
“That’s the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception,” she told us.  Clearly it had been there for a long time.  The original building, I later learned, dated from 1833, and had taken on its present shape and status as a cathedral in 1882.  It was built on the highest ground in the city, and for many years was the tallest building around.  in 1960 its copper cupola was replaced with 23 carat gold leaf which allows it to dramatize the skyline with the rich grace of gold.  Sara told us stories of growing up in this neighborhood, and the strange sensation of living in the spaces of her childhood, now so dramatically altered.
Now I am not a Roman Catholic, although one side of my family tree is rooted in that faith tradition.  Believe me, I would not be going on about a building were it not for Our Mother’s Mission, which I have been blogging about these past three weeks:  first in detailing the development of my relationship with my daughter on this trip; second in talking about Death as the Mother of Beauty, last week; and  third, this week, showcasing Mary, as the Western world’s chief exponent of the Divine Mother herself.  
Oh yes.  Mary is the subject of the Immaculate Conception to which the Kansas City Cathedral is dedicated.  Most people think that “the immaculate conception” refers to Jesus’ conception at the time of the Annunciation by Archangel Gabriel.  But no, the immaculate conception refers to the circumstances of Mary’s birth.  The Catholic church -- bless them eternally (and I mean it!) -- found a way to honor Mary especially, by giving her an exalted status.  Her very conception, they reasoned (and decided) must have been free from the stain of “original sin” a doctrine they had devised and named to explain why the world is so off purpose and out of joint due to Adam and Eve’s disobedience.  Mary was “full of grace,” because God in His eternal prescient wisdom had set her aside for a special mission at the time of her conception by St. Anne and St. Joachim.  Otherwise how could God have chosen her to be the Mother of His Only Begotten Son?
Why am I, a Protestant, an Interfaith Minister, a Freelance Mystic, and only an advanced beginner on the spiritual path, writing a blog about this marvelous piece of religious history and doctrine?  It is not because I am a fan of “original sin,” -- I would prefer another way of talking about "the separation" -- but I won’t belabor its role in Christianity here.  I only mention it because I want you all to know about “The Magnificat,” if you don’t already.  It refers to the powerful and prayerful words Mary is reported to have spoken to the Archangel when she accepted her Divine Assignment.  Her prayer is modeled after Hannah’s. (Hannah was the heretofore barren mother of Samuel) in the First Testament.  Most Christians of whatever persuasion have sung or have heard the prayer set to inspiring music. Here is the version I like the best, archaic language and all, although there are many:
My soul doth magnify the Lord : and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
For he hath regarded : the low estate of his handmaiden.
For behold, from henceforth : all generations shall call me blessed.
For he that is mighty hath magnified me : and holy is his Name.
And his mercy is on them that fear him : throughout all generations.
He hath shewed strength with his arm : he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
He hath put down the mighty from their seat : and hath exalted the humble and meek.
He hath filled the hungry with good things : and the rich he hath sent empty away.
He remembering his mercy hath holpen his servant Israel : as he promised to our forefathers, Abraham and his seed for ever. 
As I let the words sink in one more time, I hear newly the Spirit of My Mother’s Mission, and it fortifies me on my chosen path.  
Hannah prayed for G-d to hear her, and give her a son.  He did, because of the effectual, fervent nature of her prayer.  But the child, Samuel, was to be dedicated to G-d’s work.  She made this deal, and kept her promise.  
And Mary, we are told in the book of Luke, (1:26-38) accepted her astonishing assignment (for nothing will be impossible with God) with these words:  “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.”  
To me, these words ARE "The Magnificat."  By connecting with and calling upon G-d -- which merely means talking to G-d simply and directly, by giving thanks, by praising the Divine Will behind Creation, and by letting go of our attachment to an outcome we might prefer, and trusting in an outcome that is beyond our understanding, we can be about Our Mother’s Mission on this planet. 

Monday, July 4, 2011

Our Mother's Mission Part II: Listening, Mourning, Healing, Birthing

Kansas City, Missouri
July 3, 2011
11:37 a.m.
Our Mother’s Mission Part II:  
Listening, Mourning, Healing, Birthing
Death is the mother of beauty; hence from her,
Alone, shall come fulfillment to our dreams
And our desires.  Although she strews the leaves
Of sure obliteration on our paths --
                         -- from Sunday Morning, 
                                     a poem by Wallace Stevens
A little more than halfway through our journey, in Kansas City, Missouri, I have been given a great gift: a week-long sanctuary in the home of a Sole 2 Soul Walk friend, Ruth Beedle.  With plenty of undisturbed solitude and quiet respite from the soggy heat outside, I sleep in an air-conditioned room, under a fluffy comforter like a pudding in a cloud, between clean, white sheets.  A pool is nearby for refreshing dips at leisure.  This physical comfort, combined with great conversation laden with insight and humor -- especially contrasted with the relatively rough and primitive life in the “tin can” (R V) for the past 3 1/2 months -- has made me seriously consider the possibility that I have made my transition to a higher plane.
I have had time to reflect on our enterprise up to this point and can summarize in one sentence what I feel identifies my underlying motivation for undertaking this journey:  “This walk is nothing more, nor less, than an attempt to discover, address and heal ancient wounds -- both personal and planetary -- still charged with fear and injustice.”
For all the world our stated purpose has been “To imagine a world where women are equally valued decision-makers in partnership with men, worldwide.”  We are planting the seeds of in idea, and the response has been varied, from “Right on!  You go, girls,” to “That will never happen,” to “Just what is your problem?  We gave you the vote.”  
But in this last week, with all this tranquility and safe silence, I have had a chance to look more deeply into my own personal motivation, and it is as though my female ancestors have been present to me, sharing their stories.
I don’t know a great deal about my female lineage, I was never close to any female relatives, including my mother, nor was I told many stories, but I have surmised that in my family there was no such thing as a “happy marriage,” with the possible exception of my father’s third.  Mother, grandmother and even great grandmother chose divorce over oppressive relationships.  One grandmother, a catholic for whom divorce was not an option, was “institutionalized” for her aberrant behavior, diagnosed as manic-depressive (and no wonder).  Here is a litany:
  • My great grandmother’s second child was the result of marital rape.
  • One grandmother contracted a venereal disease from her husband.
  • Another grandmother took her “vacations” in an insane asylum.
  • My mother and her siblings were beaten with a leather strap as children -- not considered cruel or unusual punishment, apparently.
  • My mother had a nervous breakdown and shock treatments because -- like her own mother -- she rebelled against her loss of autonomy.
  • I was sexually abused as a child by a family acquaintance.
  • I was the victim of a date rape in college.  I did not press charges, for fear of ruining the young man’s life. (!)
  • I divorced my husband only after an incident of child abuse caused my children to be taken to foster homes.
Almost none of these things were openly discussed in my family, so it now appears that these are the skeletons in my closet that need and want to be exposed and exorcised.  Still, I would be very surprised if my family was unique with regard to these kinds of events.  Given that these hurtful incidents all occurred in the past and there is nothing I can do to prevent the harm done, my question becomes, “To what extent are they affecting me in the present?” And further, “How can they be healed in my psyche and their frightful energy transformed into a positive force for good?”
  • The first step would be acknowledgment:  “These things happened.”
  • The second would be outrage at the injustice 
  • The third would be sorrow for the pain and loss
  • The fourth would be compassion for both victim and perpetrator -- finding the way to forgiveness for all
  • The fifth would be noticing how the damage perpetuates itself in present time as generalized and universalized guilt, which results in low self esteem in all human beings
  • The sixth would be cultivating and accepting a new self image founded upon true self worth and worthiness
  • The seventh would be vigilance to ensure that new behavior patterns take root and flourish. 
Much easier said than done.  The method I have chosen to do this important work is through spiritual practice and deep meditation on my matrilineal line, back to my very first ancestral mother.  She was the Mother we all have in common.  Much has been made of our paternal ancestor:  Our Father, but in recent ages, much less attention has been paid to Her.  By getting in touch with Her and her sorrows and travails -- especially as I have known them through my own female ancestors -- I feel I have contacted the very source of the springs of sorrow.  I feel that all of these women are asking us to listen to them, to hear them to mourn with them, to heal them and be healed by them so that the great work of the Divine mother -- a new birth -- can take place out of death itself.
With everything that is going on in our world, reflected in the possible collapse of the global economy, the threat of nuclear proliferation, our failure to sustain an ecologically sound environment, the unethical greed of corporations, the wantonly unprincipled media, the failing educational system, and the hectic pace and “busyness” of our fractured lifestyle, I feel that now is the time for women -- especially women who have arrived at grandmother status -- to stand together as “doyens” -- a word I like better than “crones” for wise women, and with one voice say:  “Thus far, and no farther.  It doesn’t have to continue this way.  We may have chosen to be silent rather than to express our fear and anger in the past, but we can choose differently now.”
  
I call all women and the men who support them in this effort to rally behind this intention:
“Leaving all burdens of the past behind, we seize the opportunity of this now moment to practice the art of the possible.”
I am walking across the country holding all of my “co-madres” in my heart because I can; I do have all of these women and girls inside of me -- daughters, mothers, grand and great, who want to shine their light to brighten the future for all man-and-woman kind.  They want to tell us to sorrow no more; they are healed, and released, and are reborn in us!
Out of death comes life and beauty as the poet Wallace Stevens said in the quote at the beginning of this piece.  The German mystic Frederich Holderlin reminded us, “At the moment of greatest danger [and heartbreak]*, creation is born.” 
This is my “NOW MOMENT.”  Will it be yours?
______________________________________
* my insert